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Quotation

Most good fun quotes have "offensive" language. So, slim picking: Well, I'm almost done, so, maybe you want to come over and Netflix and chill and... === Mom: It's a paperless house, darling. Dad: I got that. But how am I supposed to complete my business? Gustav: Well, all Japanese toilets have a very effective and pleasant cleaning spray. And I will be very happy to walk you through the entire process. Dad: Oh, god. === What I wanted was for us to spend Christmas in California together like I planned, before everything went to shxt because you made it all about yourself. -Mm-hmm. You both did. -I did? Yes! You idiots think you can pass me back and forth like I'm your property or something? I'm done. This is the worst Christmas ever. === Dad: We've been members of the kiss army for, like, 30 years now. Yeah. Our first date was the crazy nights tour. Mom: Yeah! And, boy, was that crazy. Crazy. Kiss: Did you get laid? Mom: Um... I gave him a xxyyzz.